(imagine Mrs Krabopple doing that, and you’ll have my laughy bark in your head)
Now, before you jump all over my shit about the title–read the post. You’ll get it.
So, while trolling about on FB, I came across a blog post expressing an opinion about a particular parenting method. I’m not gonna discuss it here–because frankly I thought the argument was kinda stupid–but I do want to discuss the title. It was:
“[parenting method] done the right way”
And I thought–really? judge much? and then went on my way to look at kitten pictures and rage comics, because I’ve learned that a) most of that shit really doesn’t apply to me b) half of these eejits don’t really know what they are talking about having read a singular article or whatnot. if the topic interests me, I might gander, but generally I’ve learned to just stay away.
Anyway, I refresh my FB page only to find same said page making a comment about people getting upset, and she didn’t know why.
And again, I thought, really?
So (foolishly) I stepped into the argument (which wasn’t an argument at this point but more of a “don’t listen to those people, they just feel guilty because they are guilty” kind of thread) and I brought up–delicately I might point out–that the wording of the title might be offputting to some.
Obviously my flaw here was not saying “hey, idiot, maybe people wouldn’t be so upset if you weren’t judging them, you stupid whore”
You see why I chose my first method…
A few minutes later I was greeted with the response
I chose the title because it IS the right method. (paraphrase)
At which point, instead of engaging in a pointless argument based on emotion and irrational discourse, I unliked the page and unsubscribed from her blog. (and for those of you thinking this is extreme, I’ve been thinking about the unsubscribe for a while…)
Now this isn’t just an issue of parenting opinion. This concept, this idea of the “the right way” pervades our very existence. Politics, spirituality, diet, lawn maintenance–there is always some asshat with a back pocket of scientific facts and statistics and names of very important people who claim they know the right way, and will sit tall in the saddle of their very high horse and pontificate and dictate and judge–OH HOW THEY JUDGE.
Which always takes me back to my usual response of “hmm, that’s interesting. I will have to think about that” OR, “well, that is one method. We choose a different one” OR “GET OFF MY PORCH DOORKNOCKER!!”
So then, as I pondered about how I would write this post, I began to think–is there REALLY a right way for ANYTHING?
And as I began to think about it, I began to doubt.
To remove a pan from a hot oven, one must use oven mitts.
–WRONG–I know a dude whose mom can pull a pan out of the oven with her BARE HAND
In this country, we drive down the right side of the street.
–UNLESS there is an asshat in the parking lot who doesn’t pulled out of their parking spot all wonky and has to drive on the left side, forcing you to do the same
Surviving a Tornado requires a basement
–WRONG. ask anyone who grew up in Tornado Alley. A mattress and bathtub will serve in a pinch, and even people in basements have died in tornados.
There is no “right way” to make bread, start a fire, ride a unicycle, take a picture, paint a masterpiece, elect a president or raise a child. In fact, there also isn’t a right way to express your opinion. Not a single damn person reading this has to agree or like what I have to say. Not a one of them have to strike the words “right way” from their vocabulary, because I am not the arbiter of universal rules. But, while there is no “right way” of doing it, there is a polite way of doing it. It’s called respecting how others live their lives, and not placing judgement on their choices. Ain’t nobody sayin you gotta do it this way–just don’t act all surprised when people get up in your face about it, is all. Respect begets respect, and I suggest checking the make-up of your own house before you start throwing rocks.